| Chapter 1 of something I may or may not finish. Please offer advice, criticisms, anything. |
Please Critique.
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Please Critique.Chapter 1 Leaves decorating the many trees of the grove welcomed a cool dusk breeze, sighing sweetly as if preparing for sleep. The air carried the tingle of magic only felt at the mystical hours of dawn and dusk; never seen, never spoken of, but felt at the core. It was the day of the Samhain. Twin bonfires were ablaze at the foot of the hill, crackling and sending up pillars of pungent smoke, but no one was dancing through them. No one was singing, no one was telling the old tales, no one was laughing, or drinking, or talking.Please Critique.
No one was moving.
Bodies lay scattered about grass like ashes k
by ~xXfuneralofheartsXx
FramedYou're looking out of a clear, glass picture frame At a blue sky, an orange sun, and pastel clouds, But I'm looking only into your green eyes, watching the trees swayFramed
As the black central pools flood themselves, and dry Behind picture frames of their own they lie Silver vines snaking up the dark, ebony frame
You're still looking up, and the sky isn't blue anymore It's pink and red and orange But it's all gray to me And I see you in Technicolor, a vivid daydream variety hour, commercial free And I see the beauty that you can't hide with any acid-washed amethyst jacket Th
by ~xXfuneralofheartsXx
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IrritateddeviantID
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Devious Info
- Interests: music, literature, poetry
- Favourite movie: Science of Sleep, Eternal Sunshine, etc.
- Favourite band or musician: Heroes del Silencio, Some jazz and stuff, varied.
- Favourite poet or writer: Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, some Jules Verne, Anne Rice
- Website: http://www.myspace.com/friedyoda12
- Email: tcrrll12@yahoo.com
- AIM: mongerfruit
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they r really good
--
To see a world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour~ William Blake
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¤·.¸¸.·*×» Sarah Jane «×*·.¸¸.·¤
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.
--
"From my rotting body flowers shall grow, and I am in them and that is eternity." - Edvard Munch
"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." -Yoda
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"From my rotting body flowers shall grow, and I am in them and that is eternity." - Edvard Munch
"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." -Yoda
Thanks for the comment.....
Yeah...alot of my poetry is saddening.
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"Life isn't perfect and yet it still goes on. No point in beating yourself up about it."
"The only person who can break your heart, is you."
oh well, you should take pride in your poetry in that it is beautiful enough to stir emotion in the hearts of humans, who can harm their neighbors without the slightest regret...
yay for poetry =]
--
"From my rotting body flowers shall grow, and I am in them and that is eternity." - Edvard Munch
"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." -Yoda
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perhaps, Silence is the loudest of all.
--
"From my rotting body flowers shall grow, and I am in them and that is eternity." - Edvard Munch
"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." -Yoda
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